helgaleena

A Reformed Druid Cross-post!

16 Nov 09 18:50:33 GMT

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From Yahoo list RDNAtalk--This article from the San Francisco Chronicle caught my eye and I just had to share. Have a good laugh! Stacey

Kiss my druid, death metal viking! How do you find your niche in an ocean of wonky weirdness?

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Wednesday, November 4, 2009

There I was again, just another typical workday cruising Weblandia for nimble ideas with which to stimulate the senses and better illumine the human experiment, feeling a bit more anxious and antsy than normal, but not really sure why. What could it be? What was this deep need, this itch craving a rusty, rough-hewn scratch, a needful void I couldn't quite name but which nevertheless had, I quickly recognized, a certain tang, a grubby, ancient stink of what I can only describe as stale beer meets hoary facial hair in a pile of really old meat served to me on a flaming sword by a dozen buxom whoremaidens on a creaky wooden ship in the pre-dawn mist in the year 975, gruntingly? Do you know that feeling? Of course you do.

Suddenly, like a lightning bolt made of gold bullion, rotted teeth and musty stone tablets covered in worm slime and virgin's blood, it hit me. There it was, right on the Metalsucks.net website I just so happened to stumble across for the first time; it struck my retinal core like the smoke of dry ice, traveled down my spine like a rum Kundalini and settled deep in the genitalia, where it proceeded to blast 10,000 raunchy power chords well into eternity.

It was a big, silly, wonderful ad banner for something called Heathenfest America '09, which, upon closer inspection, turns out to be some sort of cartoonish death metal microtour featuring a handful of hilariously unpronounceable metal bands -- Belphegor, Eluveitie, Vreid, Kivimetsan Druidi -- who all share a similar obsession for scallywags, hoisted mainsails, Celtic lore, beer, drawing mystical rune symbols on their hoodies with a purple Sharpie while completely stoned, and/or worshipping the giant rock vulva that is Stonehenge. Or, more likely, all of the above. In other words, Heathenfest -- not to be confused with Paganfest, apparently a nearly identical, rival tour with a gaggle of nearly identically themed bands now making metalheads belch and parents groan across America -- is one of what must be dozens of similar microfests stomping their way across the land right now and keeping the underground metal scene thriving. As Metalsucks says, Heathenfest promises to be "one of the best/dorkiest/drunkest shows of the Fall," unless you count Garth Brooks in Vegas.

Here's the curious thing: whereas most music festivals focus on broad genres -- say, all electronica or bluegrass or indie or whatever, Heathenfest et al go far deeper, are all about micro themes, parsing and sub-dividing your tastes into oblivion. Not just metal, not just black metal, not even speed black metal, but cartoonish speed black death metal about pirates and druids and beer. In a word: Awesome. But also entirely strange.

(BTW, my insta-favorite among the Heathenfest lineup has to be Alestorm, perhaps one of the best-named metal bands of all time -- a storm of ale! A tempest of fermented hops! Metalsucks calls them "a superior pirate metal band," which I can only take to mean there's more than one, which is a minor epiphany in itself.)

And it's all thanks to the Internet, methinks, to the constant and never-ending subdividing of the culture into cliques and interest groups and micro-niches to which the Net so happily caters, creates, enables. Is it not true? We've apparently reached a point where, not only can you enjoy any configuration of quirky offbeat special interests you desire, along with many you never even imagined, but are actually sort of encouraged to do so, to see how bizarre and recombinant you can get because, well, what's stopping you?

What are you into, mate? Latex frog farming? Blood paintings by menstruating asylum inmates? Star Trek: The Next Generation pastry-making classes? Large-format reptile taxidermy photography? S&M salsa dancing? Build-your-own-eco-friendly-coffin workshops? A wine club for macho gun-loving phallocentric paranoids? The Net shall provide. For better or worse.

To me, it all highlights the classic chicken-and-egg problem with Web life: Is the Net merely a wondrous connector of people with bizarre, curious interests, our most astonishing reminder yet that there are always individuals with shared hobbies and lifestyles, and it's merely a matter of hooking them up so they can all feel less alone and foster myriad new forms of micro communities? Or is it the treacherous mechanism by which cultures splinter and subdivide in the first place, and the Net actually does us all a huge disservice, fracturing us to the extent that we no longer relate on a broader scale, everyone so into their little self-important subset, their zealous micro-club that no one can speak a common language of shared humanity anymore?

The answer, of course, is that it's both. As in Heathenfest, the Net both creates a million weird and wonderful sub-genres, as well as providing respite and refuge for outcasts and freaks who think they're alone in their love of them. This is why it terrifies so many parents; kids can get exposed to some insanely disturbing s--t these days, the most extreme porn, the most outrageous racism, the most ridiculous and stupid and debased intellectual slime that human nature has to offer (hi, anonymous commenters!)

At the same time, there is astonishing beauty and diversity and range of experience, a way to reach out to others in ways unprecedented and downright magical. And as the truism goes, few things can make your average suicidal loner teen in Kansas feel less alone than finding a Web community of like-minded loners who share his love of country punk, Victorian dolls and Jell-O enemas. Or whatever.

I'm reminded of Dan Savage's amazing sex advice column, where it seems not a week goes by that he's not hit with some variant of the time-honored "am-I-alone-in-my-weirdness" query, almost always related to some bizarre kink or gross turn-on that the letter-writer is half-ashamed, half-titillated to be talking about in a public forum. After cringing deeply, Savage's advice to Disturbed Pervert is almost always the same: check craigslist. Check Google groups, Yahoo groups, etc. No matter your kink (well, almost), you can almost always find someone -- or multiple someones -- willing to engage in the same bizarre sub-sub-fetish as you, and maybe you can date them or pay them to let you tie them up and pour dog urine over them while someone massages your testicles with a pine cone. Mmm, wacky.

Where does it all lead? What does all the sub-fracturing and micro-niches tell us? Or is a cigar just a cigar, pirate metal is just pirate metal, and we should hoist a mainsail, draw down the keg, crank the riffage and lighten the hell up? I'm not exactly sure.

After all, as the druids say, "Niets gaat buiten alles om!" Dude, you can totally Google it.

Original posting: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/...

Lughnasadh and the flame in us

07 Aug 09 16:02:08 GMT

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This is the time of the harvest of first fruits. This is the time of burning. What is the connection?

The connection is to study the ur-form of all things living at an esoteric level, as Goethe did the plant world. Plants are amazing creatures of earth which transform water and air into the flame of life. They display their flame at the tops as flower, their sexual organs.

We are also living beings who flower and fruit and reproduce in our season. As we reach this time of first harvest, the hot zenith of the year cycle, the soil is dry and thirsty for extra nourishment because of all that has been expended in fruiting. Gardeners if they are wise water well and apply side dressings of compost. But for our ancestors this often meant sacrifices and ashes.

The most easy sacrifice is songs and dances of thanks.

Once harvesting was under way, feasting, choosing, raiding, trading also began.

The time of Lugh master of all trades and crafts, humanity strutting its multiple accomplishments before potential partners, is upon us. View ye the line of eligible partners swaying and giving voice to the fullness of their flowering. Build up the bonfires that rid us of chaff and sprinkle upon the fields the straw and the ashes, to keep the harvest coming.

From my roots I drew what I needed to grow into the shape I am now. And behold I am of good shape and accomplished. With my skills I forged many fine creations which I now exchange with you. I sing and you hear me and draw near to my heart, filling it to overflowing. Our fragrance fills the night as incense. This is the flowering time. This is the burning time. Dross becomes fuel becomes soil for the future.

Here is a link to more scholarly exigesis of the cross quarter festival also called Lammas

http://www.astrologycom.com/lammas.html

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04 Aug 09 00:37:35 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

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04 Aug 09 00:37:34 GMT

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04 Aug 09 00:37:33 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

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04 Aug 09 00:37:32 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

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04 Aug 09 00:37:31 GMT

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nicked from my twitter friend @cadeskywalker

senator cheetoh by buff_iroh.jpg

04 Aug 09 00:37:30 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

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04 Aug 09 00:37:29 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

Grievous taking Eddie Izzard lessons?

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04 Aug 09 00:37:28 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

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04 Aug 09 00:37:27 GMT

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http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw/tag/p...

Eclipse transmission

22 Jul 09 13:26:17 GMT

http://www.towleroad.com/2009/07/watch-longest-tot...

Eclipse to Me :

my darling hush

for you

have lived to be old

still wear

your rainbow crown

streams still flow

pains dissolving risen remain

and there will be

places to see

people to do

first fruits to pluck

wicker men to burn

and stories

http://www.astrodispatch.com/2009/07/27/solar-ecli...

Creepy Padme by dracodea_x.jpg

17 Jul 09 22:56:34 GMT

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Yet another work of strange genius by the freaky minds at

http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw

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17 Jul 09 22:52:34 GMT

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This is one of the best new venues for Star Wars Poser art I know of, 'Poser Saturdays' at the LJ community Capslock Clone Wars.

http://community.livejournal.com/capslock_cw

druids use satire!

14 Jul 09 17:12:03 GMT

http://www.eatmedaily.com/2009/07/international-so...

This is another way I support the art of Pie. :P

Here is a wise woman...

30 Jun 09 11:57:10 GMT

This not-so-wise woman heartily recommends her, and anything she might have to say.

http://laraowen.com

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15 Jun 09 13:33:16 GMT

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This Watchmen fanart is by Pete Abrams, starring his own characters Sam the Vampire and Kiki the ferret. His comic saga, Sluggy Freelance, is available as books and at http://www.sluggy.com

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15 Jun 09 13:32:12 GMT

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This Watchmen fanart is by Pete Abrams, using his character Bert the crotch artist.

His comic saga, Sluggy Freelance, is available as books and at http://www.sluggy.com

I LOVE Bert and was sorry when he was killed by Satanic Kittens.

Midsummer on the way!

14 Jun 09 18:24:52 GMT

The above is an all-ages ritual that is highly seasonally appropriate.

I recently joined this initiative:

http://thepaganandthepen.wordpress.com/

Connie, one of our members from Down Under, reminded us that for her it's Midwinter. The shortest day is approaching instead of the longest.

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12 Apr 09 21:01:23 GMT

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from Finland of course!

Easter spam

12 Apr 09 15:49:05 GMT

I am a woman giving birth to myself...

09 Apr 09 22:09:28 GMT

And it HURTS!

However I have promised to live until I have got the hang of enjoying it.

Something excellent and free

18 Feb 09 23:51:29 GMT

Now that we have all made it to the other side of Valentines Day the great marketing of romance phenomenon, which in the old days was called Lupercalia and involved ripping hearts out, I have to exult in two things.

Thing one: the band Lamb of God has made their entire new album, WRATH, available to listen for free! at Myspace.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=us...

Thing two:

http://www.darkroastpress.com

I am now officially a published romance author, not just a fanfictioning and editing wannabe. The anthology My Dark Roasted Valentine, released on Valentine's Day 2009, contains 25 percent Helgaleena romance in the form of my short story, Heartseeds.

Imbolc-- Bridget's bathwater

08 Feb 09 01:29:36 GMT

Bathing in Moonlight by *jmulcahy on deviant ART

There is a legend that holy Bride the threefold goddess of the domestic arts could turn her bathwater into beer. I think that is wonderful.

It is also the season when the maple sap begins to flow, ready for tapping, and the ewes are with lamb. It is the season for St. Heikki festival in Finland, when all the gods of the Kalevala visit the towns, and carnival before Lent.

Solstice Reposting of THE AGENDA

12 Dec 08 06:29:18 GMT

The original sermon is here:

I am much too chintzy to write another one just because it's nearly winter solstice. It's hibernation season and I'm fighting that as it is.

http://helgaleena.mylivepage.com/blog/141/1034

Remember you can never have too much Sex. But if it's leading to reproduction you are doing it wrong unless you want the world to die from having too many damn humans on it. And if it involves long term harm to any involved then you are not nice and will get coal in your stocking or your wooden shoe depending on your ethnicity.

This time of year creates intense craving for sleep, or lights twinkling and hot stimulants if action is involved. (y/n)

You know what's pernicious mythology? Soulmates. the One and Only. In the flush of initial compatibility after long searching for a comfortable fit, couples think every single thing is going to go chronically right forever after due to this. Then they go and evolve into better people who might no longer fit each other so well. What's more, if narrowmindedly they think there is no other option than each other, they are stagnant and stuck.

Guess what? It is guaranteed that Death Do Us Part. All things pass from one stage to the next. We can only do our best for one another and hope for the same in return. It doesn't always last, and it doesn't always work, and the least we can do is give the old shoe a decent burial when it wears out. Oh the roads it's been down!

Yours truly keeps outlasting things I thought fondly might kill me. Including 'the love of my life' who turns out to be as steadfast in venom as he was in sweetness. And both turn out to be non nutritious after all. I did my best and try to play by the rules still, whatever illusion he dresses me in with his increasingly unfamiliar mind.

All this had me trying to remember why I am helgaleena, whether I still am, because, that man I married once is seeming so strange suddenly. I came across THE AGENDA and behold, it still fits.

So I box it up and put new paper on so all the people who didn't read it before will think it's tinsely and festive.

http://helgaleena.mylivepage.com/blog/141/1034

A year ago this time I was helping Nikki Watson with her first full length novel for Aphrodites Apples Press. It was about a girl who loses her fiancee and falls apart for months, then is pulled out of herself again by the love of her friends. The title was SPIRAL and I hope it makes its way to print again. It was strung together out of fragments, much like the protagonist herself. AA is gone, but there is Dark Roast, and there is Nikki, now a multi published Australian author of our fine genre.

May your downward and inward spirals tighten into little clumpy lumps in the middle and then unwind outward into increasing illumination as you unfold again.

This is the time of year for it. Must sleep now.